When she went to the doctor she told us that he said that the shoulder pain was a case of Bursitis. We believed that because she was the hardest working woman that we knew. She waited on table for many many years and eventually became a concierge in a building in Manhattan. But those years of serving were very damaging to her body. All of a sudden Aunt Linda started calling us on a daily basis and doing the family tree with me, telling stories of our family to my siblings that only she knew. She called one day to say that she loved me and when I asked where she was, she replied, "I am going whitewater rafting". I said with who? She said "With whoever I meet up there!". This summed up my Aunt, she LIVED.
Shortly after, in August 2002, we were told that she had Lung Cancer. This was one of the most painful days of our lives. When the doctor told her, she was appalled and said "What the hell are you talking about? I'm not dying". She refused to believe it was true. Everyday that came from that point on she was an amazing inspiration. She never lost her faith, never lost her amazing sense of humor and never missed a day of saying how much she loved us all. I remember how upset she was when we all found out that she was going to die. She didn't want to be treated like that, like someone whose days were numbered. She wanted to keep working, it was all that she had to keep her going. She was so independent her whole life it was difficult for her to get help from anyone. We were blessed when nine months later we were all, her four children and spouses and her nieces and nephews and her siblings were with her and held her as she took her last breath.
But, I don't want to remember that today. Today I want to remember when I was five years old. She taught Georgie, my cousin and her son, and I a dance to do to the song "More than a woman" by the Bee Gees. We dipped and danced and we performed it for everyone and she loved for us to do it, it brought her much joy. When I was six years old, my Dad was murdered and we had a funeral out on Long Island. I can remember being in front and everyone was crying. I looked around and when I looked in back there was Aunt Linda looking straight at me and she stuck her tongue out at me and I smiled. It made me feel safe and loved. She could touch her nose with her tongue and I thought it was the greatest talent ever.
Aunt Lin would always buy our special occasion dresses and they were always beautiful. She bought my first pair of roller skates and let me roll down a crazy hill with them on! She was always dancing and singing and always making sure that we were dancing and singing with her. We would drive to the beach, all of us piled into the car and I can remember singing songs like "Makin it" by David Naughton and we knew every word. Just like "Don't you want me baby" by the Human League and every Laura Braningon song. The Doobie brothers would come on and she would mumble half the words but it's what we all miss now...Aunt Linda lip syncing. Certain songs still come on and I can't control the tears. Hot stuff by Donna Summers was a favorite and another dance that she taught us. I can't remember a milestone in my life that Aunt Linda wasn't present. Even when we knew she was going to visit we would prepare our show for her and have dances and songs ready! As we were on our way to the hospital to say goodbye, "I can see clearly now the rain is gone" came on and my sister and I felt a sense of peace come over us. To this day we feel we hear that song when we need it most and it's her coming through.
When I was in the sixth grade she worked on this project with me about being a woman astronaut and it was a finalist in winning that year. It was amazing and I was very proud of her. She bought me this awesome nail kit and made me promise to stop biting my nails, that lasted about a month. She was so gorgeous. She had this smile that was dynamite. You could be having the worst day ever but you couldn't be around her and be sad. She knew just what to say or do to get you back up again. I wanted to learn how to do a cartwheel and she showed me for hours on her front lawn until I got it right. The same went for any future gymnastics move I needed to know. She was a baton twirler in her early years and she was very proud of it. She remembered her whole routine from childhood and taught my sister and I how to do it. We loved to watch her do anything at all, she was a naturalentertainer. She told silly stories and jumped on trampolines, she sang and danced and sat at the kids table. I never heard her say a bad thing about anyone. She forgave everyone and saw the good in them. This resulted in a lot of broken hearts and people taking advantage of her. That was also painful to watch. But she never seemed to mind and would literally give people the shirt off of her back. She always smelled amazing and had every perfume that you could ever want to wear on her dresser.
She always made us pancakes when she slept over or we slept there. They were these buttery pancakes and I try my hardest to bring joy to people with pancakes too :) We would go on the weekends sometimes with her in the summer when we lived in Brooklyn. We were free to go outside and catch lightning bugs and play in the woods that Brooklyn didn't have. We loved our summers at Aunt Lin's. We had the greatest fourth of July parties there. I can still remember my Mom telling us we were moving to Queens, it was one of the happiest days of our lives! We loved spending time with our cousins and it was a much different life for us there. We were able to go out and ride bikes and it was like living in the country.
I miss her very much, some times more than others. There isn't a family occasion that I don't wish I didn't hear her voice or her laugh. She had this amazing contagious laugh that brought so much joy to all that knew her. She would've absolutely adored Shannon and her spunk. She would've loved all of our children and danced and sang and jumped off of diving boards for them to make them laugh. They would have loved her and enjoyed her just as much as we did.
They say only the good die young, she was one of the best.
She did what she wanted, what made her happy. She was the most generous human being that I have ever known. There is so much that I wish I could've said to her but I didn't know all that she had taught me then. She would've loved country music now. She would've loved Eric Church and would've figured out a way for us to meet him.
God I just miss her and it hurts. I pray that her spirit lives on in her grandchildren and her children. That her love for life and her love for family is something that we all remember and try to mimic, even though it isn't always easy to forgive and forget.
If you have an Aunt or someone that has made a difference in your life...tell her. Take her to lunch, listen to her stories, enjoy every minute. I promise you that you won't be sorry <3 nbsp="" p="">
God Bless you Aunt Linda. May you be dancing in heaven with Grandma, Daddy and Grandpa. I pray you're looking down on us and you are proud of the beautiful job we have all done of raising our kids in love. I pray you can see how beautiful each of your grandchildren are, one more talented and beautiful than the other. But most of all I pray that you know how much you were loved, how much you inspired me and how much I miss you and your smile.
Tears and love,
Suzy Q
